The What and Why's

Well hello there, hope you all are doing great and enjoying the lovely heat wave around. Work had kept me on my toes, and it really blocked me from collating my thoughts and writing it down. Was a power packed stressful tenure. 

Amidst all this hustle one day while sipping my tea, on a hot Sunday afternoon, I couldn’t help but deliberate as to “Why” or rather “What” am I stressing over?

The thing is the quarter life crisis is something we all are very familiar with, some of our peers are getting married, some getting into their dream jobs, some pursuing masters, double masters or doctorates and we??? Well for me I just scroll Facebook and sulk at their achievement. More than sulking at their achievement, it is this empty unaccomplished feeling that kills me. It fells that I am  just wasting on this life. (Not really , but you know Grass always seems greener on the other side).

Then I think more and realize how time has changed. 

I mean just few years back, I felt like a free bird suddenly soaring high. I was, what is called to be “Independent”. Doing my own stuff, living my own way, being responsible for my own actions, deciding my life, doing adult things,all by myself. Well that is what we all thought “Adulting” was all about.

But are we really independent? Being an Indian and that too an Indian girl, that is probably the toughest question to answer. But I won’t get into that. I will only talk about how life has just changed in a couple of years. How this 22-26 tenure drastically changed our mindsets. We have suddenly become “Adults”.

There was a time we were not really motivated or aspired to greatness. As for me, I considered it a win if I had enough money left over after paying my share of the rent and bills to have a fun weekend. Or even sleeping 15 hours straight, after a whole week of work was a great achievement. But for how long could I be happy with this?

We are Humans, not animals. After sometime, we humans crave more from life than mere survival. And when we survive, we survive for something, “A what”, a sense of purpose. That “what” can be anything – for a parent his child, for a business his credit, for a lover his relationship and for an artist his art.

We all should have this “what”, because, one day or the other without a sense of purpose we will fall into disillusionment, distraction and an ultimately despair.

What is this “what”?

Only living a mundane 9-5 job, earning a handsome salary is not the “What” in life.

Your what is your zeal.

The thing that motivates you to get up every morning and work a little harder to get a little better.

It’s the thing that pushes you even on the days when all you want to do is pull the covers over your head and hide from the world.

And it is never steady, it will keep changing as you keep moving ahead in life. It will change as you grow old, get married, have a family, have to care for aging parents, etc.

Robert Bryne once observed, “The purpose of life is a life of purpose.”

In order to get somewhere, you need a purpose. That is essential. A life without a purpose is a life without a destination.

Even if you do not know the destination yet, your purpose in life is to find and do the things that make you smile, laugh and forget time. 

Do the probe and trialing in this phase of your life and enjoy the journey of reaching a sense of purpose.

What next after “What”.

When you know your ‘What’ will you find the courage to take the risks needed to get ahead. Dig a little deeper and ask yourself the "why" after "what",  that is your definition of success. The deeper you dig, the clearer your why becomes and the more motivated you will become to reach it.

You will learn to stay humble on achievement, motivated on down strikes and move on every day with a new enthusiasm in life.

After you define your path or even have a slight idea in knowing what to aspire. you can reflect on yourself more clearly. You can justify your thoughts and channelize your energy into achieving what you really want.

You can learn to differ between your skill and passion.

 Even if your goal is retiring at 50 with a house in the suburbs, there is nothing wrong with it. But at least you should be content, happy and most importantly sure of what and how you want it.

Strike down the negativity or the “log Kya khaenege” talks and just whole heartedly focus on your “why” in life.

So now your mission is clear and compelling. Have a laser-like focus and magnify all of it into your life.

What if you fail?

Well so what?

You fail only because you tried. Trying and failing is any day better than not trying at all, and living a life without any fulfillment.

Many of us feel, that contentment in life is a privilege, I say it is a “Right”, a must have. And one shouldn’t stop until one has gained his fulfillment.

This fulfillment becomes easily accessible when you know the “what” that will give you this contentment. Moreover, you can articulate your thoughts best and work earnestly to achieve this heavenly feeling.

It might be that while reading my post, you find I am just preaching like an elderly, “Beta karna kya chahte ho life mein? “and all those lectures we receive at the conventional family dinners. 

To ask me, maybe for now I am also not certain what my “why” is. Sometimes I want to be this wonderful writer, topping the charts, other times I just want a fairy tale wedding and kids. (Well, obviously subsequently).

What I wish to conclude here is that: 

No matter what you do,how you do, Do it while answering the "Why " and "What" in life. Even if you are procrastinating today , you should know "why" you are. 

Whatever your definition, it is yours, no one else’s, so you don’t need anyone’s approval and you don’t have to alter it to fit into some little “acceptable” box.

But You should always have a reason to look for tomorrow,a reason to wake up with a zeal and a reason to travel this beautiful journey called life.

Like a manual to our own life. 

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

So get up, stop sulking, be proud of yourself; of all that you have achieved till now and stride on to realize and achieve your goals. 

And Keep Smiling :)