Ye kahan Aa gaye hum ???

Hi there, so while trying to choose what to write on next, I was baffled.  I was struggling between deciding whether I should write a poetry like the previous one, that got so much of love from you all (thanks a lot for that) or something abstract. While this confusion prevailed and I couldn’t settle with one thing, I decided to embrace this confusion and possibly put it all down in words.

I am sure like this small confusion I had;  many times in life we all are at such Crossroads. Although a literal definition of crossroads might be something like "the point where two roads meet”, but for us it literally means an excessive amount of confusion while choosing certain important things in life.

Completing or nearing a quarter of our life, we all somewhat are at different crossroads in life. Some of us are struggling with making career choices, pursuing higher education or settling or not settling in life, facing challenges with our parent’s health or are simply trying to break the mirage of contrasts between our dreams and reality. Whatever be our reason, we do find ourselves nibbling our nails or scratching our hair while making certain important decisions in life.

It comes as no surprise that certain choices in life make us very anxious, since we know what is at stake. Making the right choice is nothing but a gamble, because if we land into a wrong one, things could get cluttered and we will be filled with remorse.

Come to think of it, these confusions do not necessarily come in some negative event. They can even be present while pursuing something positive, when we must choose to continue the course or veer off into something new.

Moving on the so called CORRECT path –keeps me stuck, beleaguered by the inner battle of head vs heart; right vs wrong…And who the hell knows which is which anyway!

Apart from the soliloquies of this traumatizing muddle, it is even a weary task of constant mental trips of all permutations and combinations of things that could go wrong or could go right.
So this is the Problem statement we all know , but how to deal with it ? 

I am no expert in that , but I shall share certain thumb rules I follow whenever I feel discouraged by these ambiguities :

·         Never settle for less: Whenever I’m faced with a big decision to make, I take my own time to think over things. I let the issue cook in my intuitive mind and sleep on it. Even when sleeping on it only gives me a migraine, but I do not choose the easier way or the ordinary; rather I believe that being confused right now is better than regretting later. Do not haste fully jump into anything, take time let things sink in; something not doing anything for a certain thing is the best thing to do.

·         Regulate your emotions: Attempting to control, manipulate or force things to happen in a certain way complicates the thing even more. It is the job of the crossroad to cause one to question, doubt, seek and juggle with the many conflicting voices of your head. Let all the altercations your mind leads to be dealt with a cool intellect. Re evaluating the options and not being restless to reach a decision is the best option at such times.

·         No need to be the sole hero: It is always advised that while dealing with choices in life, you should always talk about it openly and freely. Though we might all know deep within ourselves, what we need to do — what we know, how to think, when to trust — but all these things are somewhere hidden, and to awaken this innate guidance, we need to be vocal about our uncertainties.

Many of my peers are sailing in the same boat and seeking the same things in life- unconditional love, clarity of purpose, and the courage to overcome fear and self-doubt. Each person comes with a specific problem or question that needs resolution.  Each problem is the hidden answer to many of my questions too. 

·         Make a check-list: Whenever you reach a dead end and can’t decide on what is the right thing to do. Rather than choosing the right thing, cross the wrong thing from your mental check-list. Once you start filtering the unwanted things, the unaltered things will make sense to you and your choice will be easier- since the clarity of knowing what you do not seek , makes it easier to know what you actually seek.

·         Never Compare: Our life is our way, if we compare it to every Tom, dick or harry we will be only clouded with uncertainties. We should limit the distractions and push away the demanding concerns of our family, society or even our demands from ourselves.  I always remember being told by my family,: “waqt se phele aur qismat se zyada kabhi kissi ko kuch nahi milta “ . Maybe I am being stoic, but being that is much better than creating imbalance and unwanted confusions. Rather enjoy the current gift of time — love to be in the present moment.

·         Get Back Up Fighter:  When we face a crossroads with daring and the choice turns out to be flourishing, we are addressed as a prodigy .But when our choice turns out to be a disaster, then we are judged harshly, ridiculed and diminished, and we doubt ourselves when we face the next crossroads. We must remember that failing creates not only additional opportunities for success, but fosters courage and determination in those of us who are brave enough to attempt it.

There were times  when I took  some life changing decisions and failed in them miserably--battered and broken at certain times, but that doesn’t make me any less capable of making decisions; rather  I’m stronger and more secure for having risked, taken a stand, trusted and believed.

“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.” — Paulo Coelho

This quote from one of my loved authors even stands true for such life-changing situations in life. When we are clouded with doubts, uncertainties, failure and think our world is just sinking like the Titanic and we do not have our Jack to save us, what we don’t realize it that these situations are nothing but breakthroughs in our life . Whenever a crisis happens, there is a fundamental shift of perception (or a conscious awakening) that familiarizes us with the unknown strengths of our persona, a unique endurance of our soul, and the incomparable strength of our heart. When this inner awakening happens, there is often a HUGE cheerful smile, shifting the tears and a big sigh of relief.

And somehow these cross-roads turn out to one of the most worthy teachers of our life!

So the next time you feel confused and stuck, simply close your eyes and take a deep breath have faith in the course, know that there is an abundant source of wisdom that is always at your disposal.

All you need to do is be willing to go within and tap into your inner wisdom. It will never fail you. So go ahead embrace the confusion, because only dead fish go with the flow!!

However if everything else fails always follow this one mantra:  “let it rip “ or “take a grip” : nevertheless do not skip!